Over the years, with the help of Henri Nouwen, I've become more aware of the relationship between the words we speak and the silence necessary to cultivate meaningful words; the way we offer ourselves to God and to others through listening. When we listen deeply, we can offer an appropriate response - both to God and to our fellow human beings.
I've had many encounters of working with at-risk youth where my listening skills have been put to a test, and where I've been caught unaware of what to say or do. My friend Steve wrote the following about his own past volunteer experience at the shelter I'm involved in, and it resonates with my own experiences of encountering such extreme despair:
Being an elementary school teacher on a leave of absence, I have listened and responded to 8, 9, and 10 year olds for over 20 years. My family and friends have shared their dreams and hopes with me, and I listened. I listened to my niece and nephews tell me what was going on at their schools and in their lives. I listened to their funny, and some not so funny jokes. I was a good listener... or so I thought.
One young man I met was a drug abuser. His mother was a prostitute and his father was absent from his life. He came to the crisis shelter in need of a safe place to stay, a hot meal, and a shower. We developed a great relationship during his stay and often talked about a variety of subjects. His life was filled with many highs and lows. And so...in one of those low times, I learned a valuable lesson about being a good listener. He had just broken up with his girlfriend. He told me he loved her. The story unfolded as we talked. Or rather, as he talked and I listened. I listened without opening my mouth. No talking. No advice. Complete silence on my part. We sat on the floor in the hall for what seemed like hours. Two friends... one in deep despair... the other quiet.
It was a powerful time. By being there I was saying, "You are important to me. You are worth the time and I value you!" That was one of the most important things I could have done, just being there in his time of need and saying nothing. Could I have said any words of wisdom or anything that would have been beneficial? Maybe, maybe not. I came away with a stronger understanding of what it is to be a good listener.
Listening has become an important part of my spirituality. Not at the expense of speaking, or of shutting out all the music and noise of the city - but in shaping an appropriate response, both in word and in action. To be still and know that I am not God, but still offer God's presence and words in and through me.
We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how natrure - trees, flowers, grass - grow in silence: see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence. Is not our misssion to give God to the poor in the slums? Not a dead God, but a living loving God. The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life. We need silence to be able to touch souls. The essential thing is not what we say, but what God says to us and through us. All our words will be useless unless they come from within - words which do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness. - Mother Teresa, Something Beautiful For God, by Malcolm Muggeridge.
