My bridges all crossed nowhere to go
Now you hear now I know just where I'm going
No more doubt of fear I've found my way
For love came just in time you've found me just in time
Just In Time, Performed by Nina Simone
From the Before Sunset soundtrack
I just finished watching Richard Linklater's movie Before Sunset, and enjoyed it very much. I liked the real time feel of the movie with the characters strolling through Paris. And although some of the conversation felt forced at certain times I thought both the acting and script were superb... and I was quite impressed at Julie Delpy's singing capabilities too. Anyway, it left me feeling a bit sentimental about all the folks I've been in touch with the past couple of years and a bit unsettled as the changes that Fall always seems to carry on her coat tails blow through.
It's been another busy month with lots of changes at work and in my community. Looking back on the past six weeks I have much to be thankful for. I finished my volunteer commitment with the shelter at the beginning of August, and soon after, happily got full-time work as an overnight youth worker. I felt fortunate to land a job with the shelter so quickly. My supervisor and current team leader were very gracious to me throughout the interview process. I was sad to leave my day team who were very good to me, but was happy to join a fun and experienced overnight team. I find there's a lot less case work now, but it's given me an opportunity to still connect with youth, and perhaps better my assessment skills, as we often have youth coming by late at night and early in the morning who are drunk or using drugs or just not thinking straight.
It's been more than a month now working overnights and I've adjusted well to being a night owl... or should I say vampire, as some have been so apt to call me. I've taken to naps during the day, trying to listen to what my body is saying to me with these unnatural work hours. I have definitely become a creature of the night (case in point - me writing this up at three in the morning). I think I'm beginning to find a rhythm to my days, but I'm still having difficulty figuring out when to eat. Supper in the morning? Breakfast when I wake up from my naps? Minor detail. Physically I feel well and rested. I'm really enjoying my work schedule which consists of three days on, three days off - four days on, four days off. Even though my shifts are eleven hour long, the extra days off in between are well worth it. It's like having a long weekend every weekend. I'm not complaining.
There have been many comings and goings since I wrote here last - much of it seeming to revolve around some sort of Oriental food (mainly sushi of course, which I'm sure will be the end of me out here). Visitors from Calgary, New York and Toronto dropped by for periods of time. I said goodbye to a couple of friends who moved out East, while welcoming another moving out West. I also flew back to Calgary in mid-August to say goodbye to my newlywed sister and her husband as they moved to a small town in the U.K., just outside of London. It was good to have breakfast with her out on a patio, a barbecue out in a backyard with my parents and my in-law's family, and sushi with my cousins as well. Good food and good company as summer begins to fade.
I took over payments on my sister's car and drove it back to Vancouver. It's nice to have the option of a car to do groceries or escape to the North Shore - although I don't plan on using it too much, especially with the price hikes with gas. My cousin was kind enough to drive back with me to Vancouver. We split the twelve hours between us, stopping a couple times along the way for breakfast and lunch. It was good to hang out with him for the week before he flew back. We kept up our tradition of seeing movies together and also made it out to White Rock - for what else, but some good sushi.
At the beginning of August our community found out that our volunteer program was shutting down, so we're all ready moving extra furniture out as the house closes at the end of October. I've been debating on whether to continue living in a community setting, or find a place of my own. I've been trying to weigh my own need for privacy with a need I sense to find another intentional community in which I feel I can better live out my beliefs with Benedictine spirituality. I recently met with a woman who oversees a nearby intentional community and am waiting to hear if they have an opening for me.
Our community said goodbye to another household member, Leroy - who went back home to Toronto. We went to one of our favorite all you can sushi places for lunch before he boarded the bus. We also said goodbye to our friend Josh - a former faith community member who I lived with for a time - as he set out for university in the East to begin his Master's in Social Work. A few of us were able to meet for some drinks and send him off, and at the beginning of August we went to the colorful Richmond Night Market to hang out a bit more before he left. They will both be missed.
To offset those goodbyes it was good to welcome some folks to Vancouver. My friend Candace was in town, on tour with musician Dan Goldman. We went to his performance at the Butchershop - an intimate, and sparse space just off Main Street. I was pleasantly surprised to hear another band, Great Aunt Ida - who have a similar sound to The Innocence Mission - playing beautiful mellow, melancholy songs.
I also helped a friend from Calgary unpack at the beginning of this month as she settled into her new place to pursue a Masters degree at Regent, and some folks from New York were in town a couple of weekend ago for a visit. We scooted around Stanley Park, Kit's Beach and Grouse Mountain. It was a fun and relaxing time. They treated me well to all sorts of good food: Chinese at Hons, crepes at The Cafe, and some good surf and turf at The Boathouse with the sun going down over the beach. And of course we had to go to the local gelato place to taste test as much ice-cream as we could. We ended up going twice. Worst flavor of month by far? Gullab. An Indian food I guess. Don't try it home kids.
So it's been good seeing familiar faces in between work, but it is always difficult saying goodbye again. I sometimes find it difficult having good friends and family so far away, and find myself tired and apprehensive - even after all this time in Vancouver - to forge those types of relationships again.
Go away with a smile
Don't forget about your past.
Don't keep yourself from giving.
I am always watching you
Be yourself and stayin' true
'cause it makes me feel like life's worth living.
The way you feel.
I've never minded where you're going,
I know that change is part of you
I'm not gonna hide anymore, I'm gonna listen to myself
And maybe one day I can be real too.
Yeah, you living life.
Yeah you are, you are living life
Don't you know that you are living life.
The way you feel.
And that is real.
Living Life, Ben Kweller. From On My Way (2004)